
Today has been a day of deep thought and reflection. I love these days when I am so deep in thought I can be taught by the spirit. Three years ago I entered the M.T.C, meek, timid and scared out of my mind. I knew I was supposed to go on a mission, but I just did not know how I would actually do it!
Here is my very first journal entry of my mission:
WED. JUNE 8th 2005
( Doc. & Cov. 31:3 'lift up your heart and rejoice for the hour of your mission is come...)
1 St Day !!!!!
I now know what happens after you leave your family!! (Why in the world do they show those 'family isn't it about time' videos right before you depart from them- question to ponder about) No one can explain it to you- it’s purely a unique experience.
Its been a good day. There has definitely been some sad seconds. BUT I hope I can do this!! I hope I can stay and be happy and feel worthy and righteous for this calling. I want this more than anything I can think of.
Pres. Marriott during our interviews asked me if I could feel of my goodness??? He said he could feel it. I thought that to be odd. He said I needed to recognize it, actually, more like I needed to feel it myself. - He told me that that would be my strength on my mission- people would recognize my goodness (not to be confused with goodies) and be drawn to that. That has meant a lot to me.
There is so much that I can and probably should write, but I lack the time. I think it wise to start being obedient - Lights out.
Pray for me, Sister Jay Smith P.S. My ankles have swollen up from just sitting all day- I tell you the sacrifices!!
So much in my life has changed from that very first night in the MTC. I have grown up so much and my growing has not stopped since my mission ended. There is a quote from Joseph Smith that says, "God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it- you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kindgom of God." My mission did just that to me. I felt Him take hold of me and wrench my very heart strings and I watched as He did that to others. And while I feel like the "wrenching" is a never ending wrench I have grown in perspective and knowledge. I loved my mission, my companions and all the members and non-members out in North Carolina!! (It truly is the best mission, ha ha)
I know this church to be true! I know it was restored and that Pres. Monson is the Prophet today. I pray that from this day forth each of you will take time to strengthen your testimonies. Make Christ your rock. Make your one desire in life to please God and not man.